Golden Era

Dante, my daring deviant,
The time has come, put down that rum ,don’t you sit and think about how to run brush off those crumbs I plea of thee cause no longer can you roam at free, no longer can you just continue to be. You’re not me. You sleep differently, can’t you see, you need to agree, or they’ll take you away, never to see another day, out of your window you can look and say, “oh. that’s a world out there, are we in May” but you’ll never learn how to play if you don’t pick up that book and pray just say it’s okay you know it’s not arranged this way but maybe curd that whey and you’ll be like “oh hey. Girl can I get yo numba?”

To A Friend Who Never Recalls Yesterday

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The reasons for commotion

For reliable precision

For undetermined fate

For the unanimous decision

Evaluate solutions

Irrigate repression

Understand the whole solution

Sometimes you’ll fall into depression

Deep under the water

Where you never breath or shout

Never think about the birds

Or the air that’s all about

Retrieval from salvation

Denial in the depths

Betrayal’s a solution

Behind the eagle’s breaths

Ten Reasons Why Socrates has Not Written in Two Weeks

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1. Socrates is busy finishing a Ph.D entitled “The Mysterious Yet Thrilling Life of Killer Turtles”

2. Socrates has developed a great need to bake and has been baking 67 trays of chocolate chip cookies every day for the past two weeks, as this is the only recipe which Socrates is capable of baking.

3. Socrates is put out by a broken hip.  She fell while bringing in the groceries which consisted of one carton of eggs and a 2 oz. bag of soy chips, 6 servings per bag, 120 calories a serving.  One serving is half a chip.

4. Socrates has been watching skateboarding instruction on YouTube, yet has never bought a skateboard.  Motto: “Better safe than sorry.”

5. Socrates is having a midlife crisis and is recovering from a gender change.

6. Socrates is trying to learn how to play guitar.  Her neighbors complained of loud noises coming from a nearby basement and now Socrates is being held  in custody by the po po.  Bail is set at $25, yet nobody seems to have that exact amount of cash on their immediate body.

7. Socrates was having a quarter life crisis and naturally sought religious solace in a cult in Alaska.  She decided, however, that cult life did not suit her, as she did not want to complete Step 6: shave your hair and cut off your pinkie.  She escaped with but the shirt on her back and joined a close-knit Hassidic sect in a secluded area of Brooklyn.

8. Socrates went to buy socks.  No further explanation needed.

9. Socrates is writing her will.  She is giving every one of her plastic bangles to another of her favorite squirrels. Her flowered pillow case goes to her ex-best friend, Frederick IV.

10. Socrates is busy opening a goldfish store for lost and unwanted goldfish who have a 99% chance of dying in two minutes.

Ten Reasons to Join the Circus

 

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1. You get to have friends who fly

2. You can learn to fly

3. You can balance on someones toe, a practical life skill which just may come in handy

4. You learn how to think of someone else before yourself, aka, catch that flying person before she crashes her head in the ground STAT!

5. You can swing from those trapezes when your bored

6. You can wave to the audience when your really bored

7. You get to wear face paint all day long

8. costumes, hello??

9. You learn how to be patient.  While you already know all the moves, you need to wait for the slow acrobats to learn theirs. Practice waving.

10. Yes, Socrates, the circus is the best place for me.  What about you?  Will you join as well?  Or turn to practical career choices such as litigation paralegal? Assistant Manager of the Billing Department? Or perhaps, potato chip inspector? Yes, that’s a real job.  Google it.

Bye,

Dante

Apologies Necessary

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Dearest Socrates,

While your complexion is lovely,

I feel that the poem you have written is on the rude side.  It stinks of uneaten food.  As to which particular food, I trust that your were given powers of the imagination as to imagine this sort of thing.

Ultimately, we may never understand the true nature of the human mind.  Still, the importance of politeness is great in any upstanding society.  If not for social mores and pressure, humans would likely turn to murder, death, and all types of cannibalistic practices, as research has shown (Annals of Social Mores and Pressure, 2014 p. 21-324).

An uncanny feeling permeates the air

as the multiduousness surrounds and flairs

Finally, the name was caught

Unbounded by a noun and Scot.

Away with troubles, to death with doom.

Fold your laundry

and vacuum.

 

Taking Names,

Dante

Eggs Die Before Chickens

Your senseless prattle
Your hapless babble

Your talk and speak

Your need to preach

Dante, dear child

We’ve too long let you roam wild

You lack the ability to speak of sense

Here, I’ll donate 60 pence

The reason as such is one your parents kept secret 

They feared once you knew, your sanity; you wouldn’t keep it

So I’ll tell you, I’ll share, my kind sweet muffin of a lass

The reason you always fell in the first percentile of your class:

Thou art: deaf, mute, and dumb, hapless as can be

But it’s fine, it’s alright, just change your name to Mary

 

 

 

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Ten Good Reasons for Heart Attack

To Socrates, In the hopes that you do not have a heart attaaaaaaack:

The thing we will remember most

Of course the thing that I must post

to think and feel before the truth

to answer forward, never sleuth

a passers by 

lifeless doll

the treasure chest

above the call.

To tell the men

to tell them now

To ask them why

To ask them how

arrive the day

of never bless

to tell the north

to seek the west.

Love, Dante

P.S you snooze, you lose.

 

Don't mess. We know best.